Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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