he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
