Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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