He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
