do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
