I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
