I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
