Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
