Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
