This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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