i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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