Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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