You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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