Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
