i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
