She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
