my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize