i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
