never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
