the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
