Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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