my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
