you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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