the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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