where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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