Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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