Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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