even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
