I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
