Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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