Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
