I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
