You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
