I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
