he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The ass gains better be worth it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
