Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
two words...techno handjob
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
