I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
as a side note pls kill me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
