Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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