You can't motorboat a personality
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
