And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize