I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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