When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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