I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
