Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
