Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I need water and some morals
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
