I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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