real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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