Buhtt sex?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
