so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
All the doctor said was why
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
