Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
