I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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