You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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