smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize