i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
