drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
