you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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