what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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