He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
