its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
