can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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