That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
