Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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