i can't believe i had my finger in that
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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