and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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