I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
