i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
