im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
