It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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