butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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