I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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