just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
